Wednesday, September 15, 2010

NO!!! TO STUPID ‘SKYRIDER’ SEATS!!

"Skyrider" seats (below) demonstrated at a trade show. If adopted by the FAA, and for long trips, passengers better be ready for blood clots and hemorrhoids! And get set for more passenger 'roid rage!

Are the Airlines just plain collectively clueless(especially after numerous passenger rage incidents), or are they so profoundly capitalistic they can’t see the troubles in store for them if their idiotic new ‘Skyrider’ seats are adopted?

For those who may not know, or haven’t heard, the airlines will shortly be asking the FAA to approve a new standard airline seat for economy class, called ‘the Skyrider’- but which is more accurately ‘the Sardine-maker’. Currently being featured at a air travel trade show, the seat will replace the current economy class seats (which aren’t exactly noted for leg room or arm room!) with a larger saddle bicycle seat with virtually no arm or back rests.

The approval of such torture chairs will enable the grubby-greedaholic airlines to pack fifty more people per flight (going up to 220) into their 737’s by reducing the spacing between front and back row seats by nearly 30% from 32” to 23”. Anyone who’s flown in economy recently knows this is a recipe for monstrous discomfort since as it is, you can barely recline to get a little sleep or sit up and read or have a drink without being disturbed by the passenger in front (especially if they suddenly jerk their seats backward)

According to Dominique Menoud, director general of Aviointeriors Group, manufacturer of these abominations:

"We feel extremely confident that this concept will ... have great appeal to airlines for economic purposes,"

Well, uh....yeah, Dominique....and I'm sure eliminating seats altogether and just administering sleeping pills and strapping down and stacking passengers like cordwood will also have "great economic appeal". But is that sufficient reason to DO it? I think not!

Worse, the way these horrific creations are designed means that for any flight lasting more than say 20 minutes – about the time from Fort Myers to Miami, or Milwaukee to Chicago – the suffering sardines strapped into them will not only be supremely uncomfortable but: a) likely to have serious blood clots by the time they emerge, and b) a serious case of piles as well as a totally numb behind.

The bicycle saddle design itself is straight out of some former renditioner’s fiendish mind. I guarandamn-tee you that in any CIA rendition they’d have any “Mohammed Malawi” or whoever talking his head off after just a half hour strapped to that saddled seat and jostled around as if by turbulence. He’d be begging to admit to ….whatever..! Yet, these contraptions are what the foolish airlines believe economy passengers – including moms with kids, will happily agree to!

What’s next, packing passengers into planes like the Nazis did with Auschwitz-bound Jews confined to airless, cramped freight trains, with not even a restroom available? I mean imagine the extra space if the restroom area can be removed and all passengers just told they can wear diapers! Where the hell does it end?

As it is flying is not even remotely an experience most people would choose, if they can get out of it. It is confining, even difficult to negotiate a rest room trip when aisles are so narrow that with one dining cart in the way- fuggedaboutit! Then there is the lack of arm rest space which airlines now wish to reduce to zero, and don’t get me started on airport delays before the flight even begins. (New FAA regulations have essentially done away with the 6+ hour horror delays, but the airlines can still delay flights up to 3 hours with no penalty. Think about being confined to these damned seats for that long, before your flight even takes off!)

After a number of passenger meltdowns on recent flights, the airlines and feds have puzzled over what’s with the bad behavior. But this isn’t genius territory here! Put any human in such cramped, undesirable conditions – with no food, minimal perks, and often screaming infants in the vicinity, and they’ll tell you things get twitchy in no time. It doesn’t take all that much to set off a frightened, irritated and ornery passenger who may have gone with little sleep the night before and whose nerves are rattled long before takeoff. Now, imagine what it'll be like if these ‘skyriders’ are approved and the poor shmuck is tortured even as his mind melts down with simultaneous infants screaming and major air turbulence pounding him in his seat to boot.

My hope is at least one federal agency is no longer a beholden corporate whore and will do the right thing and inform the airlines where they can stick their skyriders: Where the Sun don’t shine!

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Footnote: On the positive side, it is being bruited about that these seats are intended chiefly for "low cost" airlines operating certain routes. Maybe, maybe not. But what we have seen - from charging for lunches to new baggage fees- is if there's a way to make extra dough on the hides of a captive flying public, the airlines will grab it. Let's just hope these glorified bicycle seats don't become common practice!

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